Dealing with heartache of a break-up at Christmas
You can plan your life but sometimes life has other plans for you. When Romantic Relationships end, your life can be thrown into disarray. Suddenly you're no longer half of something meaningful, something that was true and real. Your familiar identity and comfortable, established life is turned upside down.
There is an inescapable job to be done- to grieve. To grieve what could have been, maybe even what should have been or so you thought.
Routines are changed, long established, enjoyable traditions can come to a grinding halt. So many things are lost and need to be changed when romantic relationships cease to be what they once were; hopes, dreams, routine, traditions, family and friends that were once embraced but which are suddenly tested, divided, put into question and redefined. Some by choice, some simply collateral damage.
At Christmas time, thinking about what you would be doing if you were still together or spending the day without what was once 'your other half', can make the loss all too real, the emotions, all too strong.
Alcohol goes hand in hand in our Western Aussie culture. Alcohol is linked with celebrations. It's a right of passage when becoming an 'adult'. Over time, our brain connects alcohol with fun, and alcohol with love and connection. So when we are feeling disconnected and alone, our brain says to us: "I know what can help - Alcohol. You're happy when you drink. Drinking = fun. Drinking = love and connection. Drinking will make you feel better".
...and so CAN begin a slippery slope of unhealthy strategies to cope with stress and emotional pain but there are better ways to cope. There are ways to process pain and unlink the positive associations that have been made, linking alcohol to fun & love. There are fast, effective ways to clean up incorrect beliefs that alcohol will fix your problems. It doesn't fix anything. The truth is, alcohol will never love you. Alcohol is not your friend. It can't be, it's a drink. People are looking for love in the wrong places.