Grieving a loved one at Christmas Time
Grief makes places in your soul ache that you didn't know existed. There can be many moments throughout a year that remind you that a loved one has gone; birthdays, anniversaries, weddings and other special celebrations like Easter and of course Christmas. There are moments in time that take your breath away. Perhaps no more that trying to ignore the empty seat at a dining table at the first Christmas Dinner. Ignoring the fact that the sound of your loved ones laughter will never be heard again, nor their smile that made you feel peace, love and safety all at the same time, ever be seen again.
New grief, unresolved grief, it doesn't matter. The days that were once joyous and that were reasons for celebrations can quickly turn into the most dreaded and painful days of the year. Grief needs to be felt and worked through, not ignored, denied or suppressed. Death is the greatest certainty in life and yet too many times, one is greatly ill prepared, leaving the griever completely debilitated.
It can be all too easy to dull the senses with alcohol or escape the feelings that are shouting out to be heard but as Karol Kuhn Trumen so eloquently states; "feelings buried alive, never die". Grief needs to be felt so that one can move forward and not be paralysed by loss. It's possible to feel sad, but not be consumed by your grief. It's possible to smile and laugh again. It's possible to feel love and appreciation and not be taken over with emotions too powerful to confront. It is possible to heal. It is safe to keep on loving. It is wise to keep on loving